She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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