My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
