none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Do you still have your period?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize