I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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