I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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