Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
