Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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