Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
