i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
do herpes really smell.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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