Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
