omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
