at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
