Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
