just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
