Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize