I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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