so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize