But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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