I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize