my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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