So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
