...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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