Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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