Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize