69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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