I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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