Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
