so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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