miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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