yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I believe in your delicious
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
