her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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