i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
