I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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