Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
