I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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