i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize