She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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