i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
