she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
