I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I smell like Dick and happiness
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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