i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
