the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
