that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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