Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
COCAINE IS GR8
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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