I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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