he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
