woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
