there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
