she sounds like chewbacca in bed
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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