He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
The Olympian is in my bed
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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