I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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