what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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