We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
