you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
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