i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
