Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
