so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
she looked like the before picture.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
