I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
