I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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