By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
