don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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